Kevin Swanson

Kevin Swanson
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks...

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Wednesday July 30, 2014 - Jeffrey Dahmer - Evolutionist, Cannibal or Christian

*Shakes head in chagrin* Almost sorry for K Swizzle that he's scraping the bottom of the theological barrel for material by doing a show on the spirituality of Dahmer. Subjects must be thin on the ground. This book they will be discussing was published way back in 2006.

Interview: The Pastor Who Baptized Jeffrey Dahmer

Oh boy! Cue the music and the speaking like he's on speed Kevin Swanson and his Dahmer-tinged testimony.

Publicans and sinners - 5
Mispronunciations - 9
Blaming theory of evolution for Dahmer's actions - 4
K Swizzle didn't think Dahmer would be in heaven - 1
Tool of Satan - 1
Chasing legions of demons - 2
Evil - 3

Kevin brings in Church of Christ pastor Roy Ratcliff about his book on Dahmer's Christianity "Dark Journey, Deep Grace". This isn't good. It means K Swizzle is going to be sort of respectable for a change. He needs his sycophants to go into Crazytown with shouts of bestiality and filth-eating.

Cannibalism -1
Homosexuality - 1
Blaming parents not going to church for Dahmer's crimes - 2

Kevin picks Ratcliff's brain. It's actually interesting, informative and respectful for once.

Out of mind while committing crime - 1
Blaming it on demons - 2
Alcoholism - 1
Living in deception - 2
Suicide - 2
Mental Illness - 2
Backslid Parents  - 3
Evolutionists view people as animals - 3
Atheist - 1
Materialists - 2
The world basks in the evil of Dahmer's life - 1

Wow, no dumb commercials, pee breaks or begging for money. Who kidnapped the real Kevin Swanson and replaced him with this guy?

Monday, July 28, 2014

July 28th - Facebook Seductive Selfies

When Christian Girls Seduce the Boys

What's K Swizzle up to today? I haven't visited him in a while as I'm getting where I can only take him in very small doses. Sometimes it seems like he has some sort of diagnosed mental disorder and it becomes too much like tossing rocks at the little 'not quite right' boy down the street. You know, that kid that drools, wets his pants and who cannot help it. You want to laugh and point, but you know it would be too cruel.

And the music starts....

..Kevin is speed talking and introducing his brown nosing pal Steve..

Rabidly anti-Christian culture - 4
Sin - 6

Ha! Grumpy vacation for the Swansons and they ended up on their knees praying the grumpy sin away...

Good Christian girls aping the world - 3
Models posting sexualized - 2
Proverbs 7 Woman - 9
Seductiveness - 12
Women today are Proverbs 7 -2
Seductive Selfies - 6
Getting guys to pay attention - 5
Pride/Bragging - 10
Facebook is Human Pride - 8
No Facebook for Christians - 6
Selfie Girls have no Godly affirmations - 2
Good Christian women should not be concerned with clothing - 5
Cow Tag Thing - 1
Ostentatious - 2

Bragging about 'cool' in high school with cars.

Music and commercial for that father son retreat and anti-homosexual sounding ultra masculine things like blood tracking and high ropes course. Bargain basement price. Sales of tickets must not be going well. Well, assclown Scott Brown is the featured speaker....

CBS aired Kristeen Young "Pearl of a Girl' - 3
Apostate/Apostasy - 14
Whoring the book "Apostate" - 5
Facebook causes Apostates - 2
Evil evil feminist -8
Kill the Christians!!! - 2
Muslims are more oppressive - 1
Equality making Kevin lose his shit - 5
Competition makes women manly - 1
Destroying the family - 4

The average American family is the woman running everything with the husband in the basement with the porn? Substitute "Internet Radio Show" for "Porn" and it sounds like Kevin Swanson.

Lust - 5
Gays - 1

Oh dear Gawd! The music is starting for a SECOND Break. Does he have to push something else or is this a pee break or something...and then it comes right back up again. Did Kevin lean against the wrong button working his computer?

Spiritual but not religious is growing - 6

Kevin is clearly confusing the meaning of the word 'religion' and doesn't seem to understand that you can be close to the Lord without going to a corrosive church.

Silly mentions of Jack Bauer  - 4
Judging the relationships of others with the divine - 2
Non Christians all jellus of what K Swizzle and sidekick have according to them - 3

Claiming you cannot have fruits of the spirit without being in a church surrounded by others. Silly silly considering even Jesus retreated from others to pray many times.

Church hopping - 3
If you aren't going to church you aren't saved - 2
Post-Moderns only wants to worship themselves - 3

He's flacking his dreadful and inaccurate book "Apostate" rather hard. It's half price now. I suppose he's about to be stuck with a huge pile of them. Hey Kevin, here's an idea. Burn the extra copies this winter in your woodstove. At least by keeping your family warm they would be serving some function.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Thursday July 17 - Millennials and President Obama

Narcissism is the Zeitgeist! or so saith Kevin

Look who's calling other folks a narcissist! Buhahahha! Thanks for the huge laugh~ Here comes the cheesy music!

Narcissist/Narcissism - 8
Mispronouncing them big words - 25 ('May- jurs' instead of 'measures')
"I am a God" - 5

His ass-kissing side kick tells the same stupid story he told a few weeks ago to illustrate people worshiping different Gods.

You cannot be a narcissist if you are a Christian - 1
Obama uses first person singular - 10
Demagoguery - 2
"Neener-Neener-Neener" - 2
King Obama - 1
Destruction of English language by Obama - 5
"Me Just Vote" - 11
Evil Humanism - 3
Ayn Randianists (he also mispronounced her name!)- 1
Blame Obama for people not paying their mortgages and bills - 1
The end of real relationships and marriage - 2
Divorce - 1
Mispronouncing Jean Paul Sartre! -1
Criticizing Christian Music - 12
Hymns aren't narcissist - 5
Selfish love - 1
Lazy young folks - 2
Tell young folks to "GO DIE" - 6

Oh no! The music. Here comes a commercial for his father son camping thing

Matt Walsh accused Obama of anti black racism - 5
Nebraska parade float making fun of Obama - 5 (Kevin is okay with that type of racism apparently)
Obama's white side is racist against his black side - 1
Obama lies like he breathes and stokes race riots - 2
Obama is a race baiter - 2
Obama letting everyone cross the border so they can vote for him - 5
Obama is an elitist - 1
They don't hate Obama for being black - 6
No such thing as race - 7
Obama is encouraging hatred - 2
Claiming that USA pulling all the druggies out of Mexico and creating problems in Mexico - 3
Defunding public schools -1
Defunding welfare - 1
The country can only be fixed by Christ's salvation - 4
The laws of God are not correctly preached -2

Thanks for the guffaws, Swanson. The last time I saw that much twisting and turn was at a Twister party.  Shine on you crazy lump of coal..

Monday, July 14, 2014

Monday July 14th - When a Family Vision Goes International

I suspect today's Generations With Vision is going to be boring, suck harder than a roomful of Hoovers. It's a straight up subject and likely a more mainstream evangelical flogging their book. When that happens Kevin behaves much better. But it's a lot less pleasant to listen to, it's boring....

Perhaps I am wrong as this quote from his site about today's program is pretty out there - "The Kingdom is far less WASPY than it used to be"

Are you kidding me? The Evangelical world is almost entirely white and Waspy with a few tokens thrown in just so they can claim not to be racially bigoted. Explains how Voddie Baucham ended up in their lily-white enclave. 

Cue the poorly done synth music it's time for Kevin! I'm stoked.

His daughter Emily is in the studio. Suspect no mentions of Gay Whoppers, bestiality or fornication

Mispronunciations  - 6
Family Vision - 3
Kid don't listen to the way your dad mangles words!
WASPS are Apostates - 1
Whoring book "Apostates - 1

Run, Emily, Run!!!!!

Playing the race card about missions trips - 1
Emily uses a made up word "Ginormous". Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Swanson behaving with incredible restraint. Kid sounds like a normal teen. 
Emily is talking about her missionary three months trip to Uganda. 

..and we're going into break with the theme music that makes me want to poke my eardrums out with a rusty knife...and onto the commercial for his father son crap. Signups must be going poorly because he's reduced the price.

After the break he brings on a pastor from Michigan in that helped establish the first dairy in Nigeria.

Kevin is marveling over how the 'White Guys' aren't running the dairy, that it's all local black Africans. His exposure of his own unconscious racism is the only thing worth listening to on this show.

Mind wandering because it's just dullsville compared to his usual shouts of "Hitler" "Adultery" "Filth-Eaters"

No one offered Swanson goats for his daughter, LOL.. the last African missions trip I went on one of the locals offered my pastor a huge pile of goats for me because I had 'magic hair' - Straight, down to my ass and colorfully streaked red.

PS The hubby and I had to have Whoppers last night after hearing Swanson ranting over and over about Gay Whoppers. Sadly, they'd stopped selling the Gay Whopper so we had to settle for Non-Gay Whoppers.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Friday July 11 - The Gay, Proud Whopper

Sorry I've not updated but one can only take the cheesy theme music, word mispronunciations, commercials, shameless self promotion, ugly hateful non-Christian ideas and off putting voice of one Kevin Swanson. Like Limburger cheese, Guatemalan insanity pepper and Durian fruit Kevin is best taken in very small doses very very infrequently. However once I say his subject on Friday I had to listen to this stinking hot mess!

Gonna have to try the Gay Whopper just for fun. Suspect I'll be giggling over how many times the words "Gay Whopper" come out of  Kevin "Kip Dynamite" Swanson

Listen to it yourself if you dare at Generations With Vilenesss... err 'Vision"

Start that cheesy bad canned music....

Claiming Gay wasn't a thing back in the 1950s and before. Oh really? Just finished reading 'Royal Panopoly' by Carolly Erickson and there were TONS of gay British monarchs going back to the year 1100 AD well before the 1950s.

  • Gay- 11
  • Gay Pride - 14
  • Gay Agenda - 4
  • Gay Whopper - 30
  • Homosexual Rainbow stolen from Bible - 5
  • Homosexual Rainbow - 3
  • I Love My Two Moms - 3
  • Lost Appetite For Whopper Now - 2
  • We Are All The Same On The Inside - 10
  • The Heart Is Wicked Above All Things - 3
  • Mispronouncing words - 19 (sounds like a spitting goat with a hard "Th" sound)
  • Palagient (sic) - 2
  • Hitler - 1
  • Jeffrey Dahmer -5
  • Incest - 3
  • Pedophilia - 4
  • Bestiality -  3
  • Cannibalism - 4
  • Korean Cook Book With Dog Recipes - 1

The wrapper is making Kevin and pals lose their minds

Commercial for his stupid father son conference with all the anti-homosexual ultra masculine doings..

Don't be caught eating your Proud Whopper on Judgement Day

  • Eat at ChikFilA instead - 8
  • Boycott Burger King - 3
  • ChikFilA Being Discriminated Against For Being Christians - 4
  • ChikFilA Not Homophobic - 3
  • Canadians Fleeing To America - 1
  • Canada Arrests Righteous People - 2
  • Serial Killers - 6
  • Elton John King of the Homos - 9
  • Whoring Out "Apostate" - 5
  • The Sin of Being a Christian - 4
  • Jesus is about judgement -4
  • Pray that Elton John finds "THE RIGHT CHRIST!" - 2
  • Book of Revelation - 1
  • Anti Nominism - 6
  • Adultery - 2
  • Pornography - 1

Rolling my eyes here..... lots of theological twister going on.

Quote of the day "Jesus came for the whole enchilada"

The word above I have spelled out as "Palagient"? Both my husband and I, both of us with advanced degrees from real universities, could not figure out nor find in the online dictionary any word close to it. Swanson pronounced it as "Pa- Lay- Gent" Is this a new evangelical fundy theology word he's bandying about? Please let me know if you know what it is.

Now I want a damn Whopper for dinner. Thanks, Kevin, as I need a zillion calorie Whopper like he needs a tongue piercing that would give him even more trouble pronouncing words.